im tired.
im tired of waiting. im tired of being scared. scared to show the real me. scared to be mean. scared to say what i feel. scared to be scared.
im tired of being the nice one. the loyal one. only to get walked over and on. taken for granted. lied to. and sometimes just ignored.
im tired of putting myself out there, only to get disappointed. of setting myself up to be let down. of putting too much faith in people.
im tired of feeling stupid. im tired of editing what i say. im tired of caring what other people think. what they might say about me.
im tired of giving to the undeserving.
im tired of not giving to those i should.
im tired of being broke.
im tired of being confused.
and most of all, im tired of being tired.
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3 comments:
i completely understand how you feel in that poem. My title of my life was "pointless effort".
when i arrived in Ensenada, i still kind of felt the same way emotionally when i was back in hong kong. so i decided to visit the shrink for the first time and he diagnosed me of having chronic mild depression. this was more of a physical fatigue, which lead to feeling tired all the time, and feeling depressed. he prescribed some natural herb St. John Wort and it works. that little empty hole easting away at my life energy is gone. i've been on the medication for over 6 months. at periods when i did not take them, i felt that hole again. a combination of a different environment, culture, and herbs might all of helped out.
i understand your feelings and dont believe its you to be like that forever. its how the body is built thats all. our chemical connection and flows in our bodies are all different, we just need assistance to readjust our system.
Tired of being tired...it says so much...and most can relate to this.
Wow. You just put words to my feelings all of last year when my parents got divorced. I was the strong one, because I was too weak to let myself cry. I started going to a therapist and it's been a while since I felt that way, but your words bring everything back. I hope you can find someone who you can trust and rely on and I hope you can find a friend in yourself.
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