Fluttering...

you are born a wee little babe. not a care in the world. you see life in vibrant colors. beautiful and whimsical.

then life happens, and one day you find yourself numb. the hurt you have endured has been so great, so life altering...you completely shut yourself off from feeling anything. or...at least you try to.

you can live your whole life feeling numb. call it a defense mechanism. you can be hurt so much and so deeply, that the pain and emptiness consumes your soul. in that state of mind, it is better to be alone than to offer up even the slighest glimmer of hope, only to be dissappointed once again.

then one day, totally unexpected or anticipated...butterflies.

so life without pain is good. life without hurt, even better...right?

but when should you say "uncle" and give in. how long do you keep up the sharade of pretending that you don't care? how long should you let the past determine your future? is it really worth it?

sure, you have no chance of being hurt that way. but is being hollow better? is taking the chance of feeling the pain better than hiding behind the fear?

how do you know when to listen to the butterflies?

5.9.2007