Never Again

images cut to the core of me
as they play like a morbid slideshow

i know i will never have
what i thought i should

i cry for the loss of my unborn child
and the unknown futures of my living

can i be what i need to be
or will i falter and fail

i have an unyielding love
that can not be broken by trials

yet still i feel eternally helpless
in the vast emptiness of my strength

my soul is weeping
as i cry out for guidance

so much hurt covered up and pushed down
until it is almost forgotten

but when i am at my lowest
the vivid cries return to haunt me

i want so much for complete happiness
although i am scared to wish

for the last time i wished
i ended up in that painful existence

and i don't want to go there again
never. never ever. again.

11.02.2006