I believe I might have a touch of insomnia. It kind of snuck up on me too. I have no idea when the change actually happened. I have always been the type to stay up pretty late. A night owl if you will. But I could usually rap everything up by 12 on the weeknights when I have to get up at
But lately, its been more like between 2 and
So what is my problem exactly? I have no idea. I wish I did. Seriously.
I think some of it has to do with being a single mom. I work full time and keep them full time during the week. So its like 2 full time jobs. And there are so many other things I have to do (laundry, bills, cleaning, etc.) that I have no time for me. So maybe this is my minds way of getting me time. A really fucked up way.
Maybe I am waiting on something to happen. Something to change. Something to be exciting. Something to be different.
Maybe I am waiting on someone. Someone to relate to me. Someone to understand me. Someone to get me. Someone to need me.
Who knows.
2 comments:
No way around it insomnia sucks...
I am an insomniac myself and this is a cool little poem. Insomnia can be a hard condition to deal with but over time it like many other conditions becomes just a way of life and at that point if you can learn to settle the chaos that's created in the mind when sleep deprivation does set in. it is possible to open and explore parts of the mind. The same parts of the mind that are affected by hallucinogenic chemicals only without the damage that is caused by manmade chemicals. Its the minds natural entry way into a true psychedelic experience that if used properly can actually give a person insight and clarity. Also once you expand and harness the natural power of the mind you can gain a slight control over the processes in the brain that produce certain chemicals. One of which (melatonin) is the chemical produced in the brain that makes us sleep. Normally melatonin its produced as the brain uses the chemical serotonin(the chemical that controls pleasure and affects mood) As you sleep melatonin becomes serotonin once enough is produced we wake up and the process reverses and serotonin becomes melatonin.(constant cycle) With insomnia this cycle is thrown off balance so with lack of sleep the melatonin is lost instead of changing into serotonin.this causes most insomniacs to become somewhat emotionless until more serotonin is produced. Without serotonin no melatonin is produced at all so the mind doesn't know when to take a break. Melatonin can be produced while awake by holding your eyes closed then regulating breathing to manually slow down the body. Takes practice but insomnia can be overcome naturally.
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